HOT TIPS FOR LE COLD FRONT
Canadian here to help with the "Moscou-Paris" situation
This week’s news from Paris: a man several months younger me was appointed Prime Minister and, simultaneously, a cold front called “Moscou-Paris” (real name) blew through the shuddering streets.
Unlike where I’m from, the anticipation of intense weather in Paris is often worse than the weather itself turns out to be. You’d think a command for eternal winter had come down directly from The Kremlin’s evil sorcerer. “We’re going to freeze our f*cking arses off!!” exclaimed horrified friends and in-laws last weekend
A smattering of snow and -1 degrees didn’t quite put the city at the standstill it had braced for but the psychological trip of knowing it’s coming and then watching it snow without knowing when it’s going to stop seems to send Parisians running both for their affaires de ski and for their psy.
There was arguably less buildup to Gabriel Attal’s appointment. How long he himself knew he was going to be nominated, (mainly to infuse a new shot of youth and popularity into the rest of Macron’s unstable second term) is unclear. Regardless, Wednesday morning’s papers said over 50% of French people were not displeased with the appointment of the 34 year-old —the youngest-ever PM of the 5th Republic and the first openly gay French Prime Minister ever.
I, like every thirty-something in the country who is not currently Prime Minister, was immediately flung into a tailspin of navel-gazing existentialism. But having got a relative grip of myself, I can now say I am firmly in the camp of the not displeased 51%.
There was undeniably a bit of snow on the ground for an hour or so on Tuesday morning and it seemed like a good idea to take my hearty fluff-lined JCrew boots out for a spin. I posted them on a patch of snow with the caption “born ready” and my DMs began blowing up with desperate requests to ID my footwear.
Which made me realise that if you aren’t, in fact, from the arctic tundra, you may not have a natural inclination for winter weather dressing. Like, the real kind.
So allow me to lend a double-gloved hand with a few icy pearls of wisdom…
TIP 1:
Layering is key. Particularly around your cranium, so work from the top down. You lose an estimated 40-45% of your body heat through your head, so don’t shy away from doubling up around the head-neck area.
TIP 2:
Gloves and/or mittens are essential. If you don’t wear them your body will spend energy trying to heat up your extremities. Conveniently, phone touch gloves are now available from a multitude of brands, so you can keep scrolling without losing touch with your index finger.
TIP 3:
Don’t forget the other extremities! Double up on foot-warming essentials. A thin but warm pair of good quality tights will not look bulky under your normal jeans or trousers, in fact, they often have the opposite effect. Also, heck, if sighted by the outside world, your tights might just look cute with a colourful cashmere or woollen sock layered over top.
TIP 4:
If you’re going for a rustic and outdoorsy look, you may as well lean right into it. Also, I can say from years of experience that corduroy is the warmest “normal” trouser fabric you can find before veering into the heat-tech category. Plus lots of room for tights under these bad boys.
TIP 5:
Keep your feet dry. You cannot put a price on waterproof footwear when winter precipitation is potentially on your horizon. (Notice also the tights and warm sock layering once again in effect.)
TIP 6:
Forget the idea that that looking evening-appropriate and/or sexy and/or elegant and being warm are mutually exclusive. Love in a cold climate doesn’t just exist, as a matter of fact my first major crush as a teenager was actually kindled on a ski slope with both of us covered to the eyeballs (few things are more attractive to a Canadian than a truly excellent skier.)
But seriously, just ask us Snow Yanks. Or the Scandis. Or Tolstoy. Frosty dressing can be something saucy as long as you get the textures and proportions right.
TIP 7:
Let’s talk a bit more about textures. Leather (or even better, vegan leather) is warm as anything and an excellent way to heat things up while staying warm.
TIP 8:
Do not, and I mean DO NOT attempt any deep midwinter look —indoor or outdoor— without starting with a turtleneck as your tabula rasa. Any number of layers are futile without this crucial clavicle coverage underneath.
TIP 9:
Then, sprinkle toppings to taste. Winter to the skin, whatever the hell season or style to want to the outside world! (Was recently reminded of this by my daughter who excels in the art of floral-summer-sarong-over-cashmere-onesie statement dressing.)
TIP 10:
You need absolutely not forgo jewellery! Just wear your faourite statement piece (the bigger the better so it doesn’t get lost) over top of warm layers.
Et voila! Godspeed out there mes amis.
Editor’s Note:
All jokes aside, a thought for those who are actually suffering on the streets with no place to go. My friend Iulia Matei is organising a coat drive. If you’re Paris-based and have warm coats to donate, please DM her on Instagram and she’ll come collect them.
Affaires de ski and psy is a beautiful rhyme! 🎿
A “polar vortex” is expected in my city this week so I loved these tips 😉