I get news from FT Edit ($5 per month- affordable and good writing), The Atlantic and some CNN & NYT.
Nobody Wants This is not perfect TV, but I love it cus it doesn't give a false love story (well everyone has their own view on this). Of course they have to add a little extra drama for TV, such as his family's Jewish grip with her. I think, don't overthink it. Just enjoy and appreciate a healthy looking relationship to watch.
To chime in on the algorithm topic - I did not notice that you hid your likes until I read this.
I follow a relatively small number of people (and I don't post anything myself), because it's my own way of cheating the algorithm and curating what my feed actually looks like. I don't really care how many likes or followers a person has. If I follow someone, it's because I like the way they dress (or decorate their house, or do their makeup), and I'm curious about their lifestyle, tastes and preferences in general. Things like books, podcasts, movies, shows, favourite recipes, a cool new brand they discovered. Forgive the jargon, but I'm looking for authenticity - isn't that how blogs originally started (I'm thinking Blogspot!) and what was so exciting about Instagram when it first came out all those years ago? At one point when I followed more people, it looked like posts were duplicating themselves on my feed, because everyone was literally wearing the same bags, used the same makeup, and promoted the same gut-healing capsules or whatever. It got a little absurd.
Maybe I'm a weird Instagram user, but I want something new and fresh; something that's outside of my radar or something that I would never think to try. Isn't that what influencing all about, after all?
(Actually, this is exactly why I love your Fanfare podcast too - I always discovered new people, books or articles; new ideas or perspectives or general food for thought. )
To answer your Qs:
1. Haven't seen Nobody Wants This, but I might have to start after reading your post and the comments.
2. I can't even. I'm so disgusted and appalled by what I've been reading. And I yes, I do feel like my rose-coloured glasses about all of my millennial youth idols have been slapped off my face. I can't help but wonder - who's next?
3. I subscribe to NYT and the Guardian digitally. (Also The Globe and Mail for Canadian news and perspective). I read these daily, and sometimes several times a day, which is horrible for the nervous system. Also love the Atlantic and the Economist. I listen to The Daily podcast as well as The Rest is Politics because, guess what, you influenced me! I also check the CNN channel on YouTube.
1. Watched Nobody Wants This and enjoyed it. Thought the focus was primarily on healthy relationship and communication. Didn’t notice Kirsten Bell’s « work » and didn’t feel like it affected her ability to communicate emotions. I find « eyebrow and forehead » actors these least convincing. I.E. actors who focus on moving up and down their eyebrows to convey an emotion.
My experience of watching the show was that it was not unlike the other romcom trope when the ex is quickly « replaced » by another and has to win over the family (which is inarguably ridiculous, but a reality for a lot of people) from
other romcoms — first that comes to mind is Guess Who with Zoe Saldana or Meet the Fockers.
I will say that the comment you made about imagining if this was another minority group of women and the reaction people would have rubbed me the wrong way mainly because it felt like the undertone is « if this person were x race/minority this would be a completely different story… » my experience as a black woman is I don’t think so. top boy which focused on stereotypes of black men all being in crime and selling drugs and killing each other was not met with think pieces or calls for it be taken down. So it feels unusual draw conclusions of reactions and felt like pitting groups against each other (I.e. why do x people get support and not x?). This is probably not your intention, but this is how it comes off, for me, while reading.
2. Diddy is scary and also I heard rumblings of some stuff on Tik tok but it felt,at the time, more homophobic because most of the videos were just saying he was hooking up with men. Now seeing the reality of it, it makes me sick o my stomach and I cringe when I hear his old music on French radio.
3. I read the guardian and NYT, but it is very expensive to try to expand my access to more news outlet and outside of my budget. There is some pass through the French national library that is 27€ / year and gives access to loads of outlets. However I have lost the link and am trying to get it back.
1. Re. Nobody Wants This, I agree that it is a refreshing example of a healthy relationship (and truly kind man!) This was heartening to watch and shouldn't have been overlooked, glad you brought that up. Also fair enough re. Kristen's face. I love your description of "eyebrows and forehead actors"!
Regarding my point about the treatment of Jewish women in the show, when attempting to define what is appropriate or not, in any context, it is useful to consider other examples. Comparing and contrasting is a fundamental part of debate in general. But I do take your point re. Top Boy which I admit I have not seen. Sounds like...a lot.
2. I too felt quite ill when I heard Didddy on the radio the other day having just read the latest story, and then shuddered thinking about how obsessed my friends and I used to be with his music circa the time he was apparently committing all these horrific crimes.
3. The subscriptions are so expensive aren't they! I often wish for unbiased news summary/reviews on social media but it can feel like asking for the impossible.
News: WSJ articles + podcasts: WSJ what’s news (daily), Honestly with Bari Weiss, Conversations with Bill Kristol, and - during this election season - Hacks on Tap (Mike Murphy and David Axlerod, two of the best political prognosticators in the game and hilarious as a bonus).
Your account inspired me to hide my likes about a year ago, and I respect influencers who do it more. I also want to be free from the instagram dopamine!
Lisa Remillard (The News Girl) on TikTok has become my favorite news source. I used to get overwhelmed by TV news, and over the years, many outlets in America felt too biased, making it hard to separate facts from opinions. Watching small, digestible short-form stories from Lisa gives me the space to think and form my own opinions. For a broader perspective, I read The Economist once a week.
3. The FT weekend, as a hard copy every weekend without fail and not just for the crossword / HTSI / Jo Ellison’s column; New York Times app; the Atlantic online; The News Agents podcast and The Rest is Politics podcast (and not just for previously mentioned *energy* of AC) …. Oh and the LRB regularly has good current affairs gems (paper always)
I think I’m older than your average reader but anyway. I don’t follow the news. I know that’s really weird and I can’t defend it. I live with my best friend and I feel like if anything important happens he’ll tell me. Of course sometimes I pick stuff up from social media and conversations but yeah, overall I’m ignorant and okay with it.
As far as Nobody Wants This I was also disturbed by Kristen Bell’s face. I love Kristen Bell but I did think she had too much work done and had that stretched back look around her mouth that is so odd. I agree that she has such great comedic timing she can make up for it, but still. As far as the portrayal of Jewish women it didn’t bother me specifically as much as all the over the top Jewish stereotypes but that’s just because I’m Jewish. I think people enjoy exaggerated stereotypes of cultures that aren’t their own, and when it’s your culture you just roll your eyes.
1) don’t have a netflix account so haven’t watched the show:)
2) I find this whole case to become more and more upsetting and crazy. I guess it all comes back to power and people wanting to be around fame and just want to be likes by the most powerful person in the room…
3) we have 2 newspapers every day, and sometimes buy extra’s for the weekend. Also have a NYT subscription.
1. Nobody Wants This - NEED to watch considering Adam Brody is being deemed the cultural crush of millennial women the world over (also might be biased because my husband is a dead ringer for him)
In terms of the differing beauty standards here, I just don't know that I can be bothered by it. Is it terrible of me to say that? I know my husband (46yrs) cares that he has wrinkles and fine lines. I also know he cares about a lot of other vain things so much more that a botox appt isn't at the top of his list whereas a daily intense workout is. I (43yrs) on the flip-side will always spring for the facial and botox but can only squeeze one workout in a week. The point I'm trying to make here is that men also have aging criteria society places on them to meet that they struggle with, it just might not be on their face. i.e. dad bod
2. Diddy - oh.my.goodness. I just want to know where Jlo fits into all this?!? Also found out his lawyer lives around the corner so there's that.
And 3. I'll admit I'm a bit of a news junkie (esp now the US is basically a dumpster fire we can't turn away from 🫣) so I essentially streamline it in on a constant 24hr cycle (good for my mental health or moral? probs not). Mostly this is in the form of podcasts - the entire Crooked library, The Daily, Up First, Rachel Maddow, and The BBC are daily listens. Then I also read the NYT, WSJ, and The Atlantic daily. Then New York Mag and The New Yorker weekly. It's a bit much.
1-I definitely hear you on the dad bod drama (and can we talk about the amount of Parisian men flying to Turkey for hair transplants on a regular basis? My husband feels like the only one who hasn't enjoyed a fake holiday in Istanbul recently!) So I take your point, maybe not such a double standard after all!
2- Hmm...freaky. Perhaps you should door step Diddy's lawyer. Then again, maybe we don't want to know.
I'm sure the truth will out soon though. Praying it has nothing to do with JLo. Or Beyonce. God...
3-Thank you for this excellent list --no such thing as too much!!
FT Weekend for news! Delivered to the door every Saturday. Literally don't consume world news in any other form apart from this except an occasional browse of The Times UK (a lot of which is admittedly lost on me as an American). For consumer business news, Feed Me here on Substack. Subscribe to AirMail and Puck but never really get around to reading either...
Extractions (brace yourself) are when a facialist forcibly extracts the junk under your skin that is causing acne in the first place, theoretically using techniques that will cause minimum scarring (don't try this at home).
I like the idea to protest against the alogorithm and do your own way but why hiding likes then ? You could assume to have less likes on some types of content. I feel its more a fear for influencers to reveal they dont have that many engagement compare to their Numbers of followers…
You make a fair point ..I never said it was logical. Personally, it just makes me feel more ok about posting stuff that I won't get likes but want to post anyway. If that makes any sense.
I'm curious, do you as a consumer of social media wish you could see the like counts of people who have turned it off? Or do you not care?
I get news from FT Edit ($5 per month- affordable and good writing), The Atlantic and some CNN & NYT.
Nobody Wants This is not perfect TV, but I love it cus it doesn't give a false love story (well everyone has their own view on this). Of course they have to add a little extra drama for TV, such as his family's Jewish grip with her. I think, don't overthink it. Just enjoy and appreciate a healthy looking relationship to watch.
Hi Monica,
Loved this post!
To chime in on the algorithm topic - I did not notice that you hid your likes until I read this.
I follow a relatively small number of people (and I don't post anything myself), because it's my own way of cheating the algorithm and curating what my feed actually looks like. I don't really care how many likes or followers a person has. If I follow someone, it's because I like the way they dress (or decorate their house, or do their makeup), and I'm curious about their lifestyle, tastes and preferences in general. Things like books, podcasts, movies, shows, favourite recipes, a cool new brand they discovered. Forgive the jargon, but I'm looking for authenticity - isn't that how blogs originally started (I'm thinking Blogspot!) and what was so exciting about Instagram when it first came out all those years ago? At one point when I followed more people, it looked like posts were duplicating themselves on my feed, because everyone was literally wearing the same bags, used the same makeup, and promoted the same gut-healing capsules or whatever. It got a little absurd.
Maybe I'm a weird Instagram user, but I want something new and fresh; something that's outside of my radar or something that I would never think to try. Isn't that what influencing all about, after all?
(Actually, this is exactly why I love your Fanfare podcast too - I always discovered new people, books or articles; new ideas or perspectives or general food for thought. )
To answer your Qs:
1. Haven't seen Nobody Wants This, but I might have to start after reading your post and the comments.
2. I can't even. I'm so disgusted and appalled by what I've been reading. And I yes, I do feel like my rose-coloured glasses about all of my millennial youth idols have been slapped off my face. I can't help but wonder - who's next?
3. I subscribe to NYT and the Guardian digitally. (Also The Globe and Mail for Canadian news and perspective). I read these daily, and sometimes several times a day, which is horrible for the nervous system. Also love the Atlantic and the Economist. I listen to The Daily podcast as well as The Rest is Politics because, guess what, you influenced me! I also check the CNN channel on YouTube.
1. Watched Nobody Wants This and enjoyed it. Thought the focus was primarily on healthy relationship and communication. Didn’t notice Kirsten Bell’s « work » and didn’t feel like it affected her ability to communicate emotions. I find « eyebrow and forehead » actors these least convincing. I.E. actors who focus on moving up and down their eyebrows to convey an emotion.
My experience of watching the show was that it was not unlike the other romcom trope when the ex is quickly « replaced » by another and has to win over the family (which is inarguably ridiculous, but a reality for a lot of people) from
other romcoms — first that comes to mind is Guess Who with Zoe Saldana or Meet the Fockers.
I will say that the comment you made about imagining if this was another minority group of women and the reaction people would have rubbed me the wrong way mainly because it felt like the undertone is « if this person were x race/minority this would be a completely different story… » my experience as a black woman is I don’t think so. top boy which focused on stereotypes of black men all being in crime and selling drugs and killing each other was not met with think pieces or calls for it be taken down. So it feels unusual draw conclusions of reactions and felt like pitting groups against each other (I.e. why do x people get support and not x?). This is probably not your intention, but this is how it comes off, for me, while reading.
2. Diddy is scary and also I heard rumblings of some stuff on Tik tok but it felt,at the time, more homophobic because most of the videos were just saying he was hooking up with men. Now seeing the reality of it, it makes me sick o my stomach and I cringe when I hear his old music on French radio.
3. I read the guardian and NYT, but it is very expensive to try to expand my access to more news outlet and outside of my budget. There is some pass through the French national library that is 27€ / year and gives access to loads of outlets. However I have lost the link and am trying to get it back.
Hi Ganissa, thank you for your input!
Replying in order.
1. Re. Nobody Wants This, I agree that it is a refreshing example of a healthy relationship (and truly kind man!) This was heartening to watch and shouldn't have been overlooked, glad you brought that up. Also fair enough re. Kristen's face. I love your description of "eyebrows and forehead actors"!
Regarding my point about the treatment of Jewish women in the show, when attempting to define what is appropriate or not, in any context, it is useful to consider other examples. Comparing and contrasting is a fundamental part of debate in general. But I do take your point re. Top Boy which I admit I have not seen. Sounds like...a lot.
2. I too felt quite ill when I heard Didddy on the radio the other day having just read the latest story, and then shuddered thinking about how obsessed my friends and I used to be with his music circa the time he was apparently committing all these horrific crimes.
3. The subscriptions are so expensive aren't they! I often wish for unbiased news summary/reviews on social media but it can feel like asking for the impossible.
Beautifully said.
News: WSJ articles + podcasts: WSJ what’s news (daily), Honestly with Bari Weiss, Conversations with Bill Kristol, and - during this election season - Hacks on Tap (Mike Murphy and David Axlerod, two of the best political prognosticators in the game and hilarious as a bonus).
Your account inspired me to hide my likes about a year ago, and I respect influencers who do it more. I also want to be free from the instagram dopamine!
Lisa Remillard (The News Girl) on TikTok has become my favorite news source. I used to get overwhelmed by TV news, and over the years, many outlets in America felt too biased, making it hard to separate facts from opinions. Watching small, digestible short-form stories from Lisa gives me the space to think and form my own opinions. For a broader perspective, I read The Economist once a week.
Cannot wait to check out Lisa's videos, thank you!!
(I too love The Economist).
3. The FT weekend, as a hard copy every weekend without fail and not just for the crossword / HTSI / Jo Ellison’s column; New York Times app; the Atlantic online; The News Agents podcast and The Rest is Politics podcast (and not just for previously mentioned *energy* of AC) …. Oh and the LRB regularly has good current affairs gems (paper always)
I think I’m older than your average reader but anyway. I don’t follow the news. I know that’s really weird and I can’t defend it. I live with my best friend and I feel like if anything important happens he’ll tell me. Of course sometimes I pick stuff up from social media and conversations but yeah, overall I’m ignorant and okay with it.
As far as Nobody Wants This I was also disturbed by Kristen Bell’s face. I love Kristen Bell but I did think she had too much work done and had that stretched back look around her mouth that is so odd. I agree that she has such great comedic timing she can make up for it, but still. As far as the portrayal of Jewish women it didn’t bother me specifically as much as all the over the top Jewish stereotypes but that’s just because I’m Jewish. I think people enjoy exaggerated stereotypes of cultures that aren’t their own, and when it’s your culture you just roll your eyes.
1) don’t have a netflix account so haven’t watched the show:)
2) I find this whole case to become more and more upsetting and crazy. I guess it all comes back to power and people wanting to be around fame and just want to be likes by the most powerful person in the room…
3) we have 2 newspapers every day, and sometimes buy extra’s for the weekend. Also have a NYT subscription.
okay here we go...
1. Nobody Wants This - NEED to watch considering Adam Brody is being deemed the cultural crush of millennial women the world over (also might be biased because my husband is a dead ringer for him)
In terms of the differing beauty standards here, I just don't know that I can be bothered by it. Is it terrible of me to say that? I know my husband (46yrs) cares that he has wrinkles and fine lines. I also know he cares about a lot of other vain things so much more that a botox appt isn't at the top of his list whereas a daily intense workout is. I (43yrs) on the flip-side will always spring for the facial and botox but can only squeeze one workout in a week. The point I'm trying to make here is that men also have aging criteria society places on them to meet that they struggle with, it just might not be on their face. i.e. dad bod
2. Diddy - oh.my.goodness. I just want to know where Jlo fits into all this?!? Also found out his lawyer lives around the corner so there's that.
And 3. I'll admit I'm a bit of a news junkie (esp now the US is basically a dumpster fire we can't turn away from 🫣) so I essentially streamline it in on a constant 24hr cycle (good for my mental health or moral? probs not). Mostly this is in the form of podcasts - the entire Crooked library, The Daily, Up First, Rachel Maddow, and The BBC are daily listens. Then I also read the NYT, WSJ, and The Atlantic daily. Then New York Mag and The New Yorker weekly. It's a bit much.
Thank you Jessica!!
Ok in order:
1-I definitely hear you on the dad bod drama (and can we talk about the amount of Parisian men flying to Turkey for hair transplants on a regular basis? My husband feels like the only one who hasn't enjoyed a fake holiday in Istanbul recently!) So I take your point, maybe not such a double standard after all!
2- Hmm...freaky. Perhaps you should door step Diddy's lawyer. Then again, maybe we don't want to know.
I'm sure the truth will out soon though. Praying it has nothing to do with JLo. Or Beyonce. God...
3-Thank you for this excellent list --no such thing as too much!!
FT Weekend for news! Delivered to the door every Saturday. Literally don't consume world news in any other form apart from this except an occasional browse of The Times UK (a lot of which is admittedly lost on me as an American). For consumer business news, Feed Me here on Substack. Subscribe to AirMail and Puck but never really get around to reading either...
Thanks for this! Hard agree re. The FT. Long live "the pink paper" as my granny used to call it!
Ps: could you elaborate on ‘extractions’? (Maybe dumb question 🤓)
Extractions (brace yourself) are when a facialist forcibly extracts the junk under your skin that is causing acne in the first place, theoretically using techniques that will cause minimum scarring (don't try this at home).
Sound fun! 😅
Thanks for the extra info x
I like the idea to protest against the alogorithm and do your own way but why hiding likes then ? You could assume to have less likes on some types of content. I feel its more a fear for influencers to reveal they dont have that many engagement compare to their Numbers of followers…
You make a fair point ..I never said it was logical. Personally, it just makes me feel more ok about posting stuff that I won't get likes but want to post anyway. If that makes any sense.
I'm curious, do you as a consumer of social media wish you could see the like counts of people who have turned it off? Or do you not care?